"Our identities are defined by the tensions between our cultures desire to have us conform to particular roles and our own desire to resist this pressure and establish a unique sense of self. "
Wood & Smith
The idea of our unique sense of self seems to be something humans have struggled with since the beginning of time. The need to break out of “the mold” or “chart our own course in life” is a norm in our human experience. The Internet gives someone an outlet for that self creation and exploration that we have never had before. While there has always been drama or acting for people to participate in for a creative expression of one’s self…the Internet opens doors that explore the depths of the human psyche in a very unique way. Wood & Smith discuss the Social Context Cues Theory which is defined by a perspective on human behavior suggesting that actions are governed by subtle indicators in the social environment. Many people will make friends in a specific type of environment as it often establishes a “like kind” mentality. In cyberspace (as defined by Howard Rheingold as “the conceptual space where words, human relationships, data, wealth and power are manifested by people using CMC technology”) people are free to be anyone they want to be with nothing but “their word” to base a relationship on. You can be ANYONE you choose to be. That is a very powerful, evocative concept and I wonder what percentage of people take advantage the ability to create a Pseudonymity. On some level don’t we all want some distorted view of our own reality? Don’t we all want to be smarter, richer, thinner, and more important than we might be IRL?

This May I joined Facebook because a friend of mine who lives in Pennsylvania (who I met on the online) was going to have her first baby in June. She said that once the baby was born it was where she would post all the photos so I had to join so I could be “in the know”. When I joined, I had no idea that every conversation was just out there hanging for all to read, every relationship wide open. At first I enjoyed the daily updates with her and her family. But then I started to receive emails from people that wanted to “friend” me. Some were people that I knew and saw on a regular basis. Others were family members that I don’t see often, while others were people that I had not seen in 20 years. So here I was, in the present, thinking about the past and looking towards the future….. constantly. This convergence of my “relationships” in one place with people who are related to me or know the “me” in the “now”, combined with friends I had when I was 16 years old was exhausting! I have very individual relationships with my friends, very real, very separate relationships with a lot of very different people (that probably would not all get along with each other). I like unique qualities in people, I like quirks. What I did not realize was how completely awkward this could be when you bring all of these people together, and then add your mother-in-law (yes my mother-in-law, who knew she had a Facebook page and how exactly are you supposed to “not friend” your mother-in-law). I have learned that everyone has a slightly different version of me. The person I was 20 years ago was just a premise of the person I am today and the relationship I have with my Mother-in-law is most certainly different than with my girlfriends I have martinis with. So how is it possible to actually merge all of these “personalities” in one cyber place. I truly appreciate the unique qualities in my diverse friends and I appreciate that I am a slightly different version of myself when I am with each of them. I don’t feel like I am ever not my true self when I am with different friends, yet I realize I might share different aspects of myself depending upon who I am with. But on Facebook, I can’t do that because it is impossible to juggle so many different unique relationships, therefore I am a homogenized version of myself……and really quite boring!