I have always used humor in uncomfortable situations. Whenever I am in a situation that creates some social discomfort regardless of if is my own discomfort or others around me,I find that I self deprecating humor often lightens the mood. I get this from my father, it’s not intentional really just something that we do though I am not nearly as good as he is. My Dad can lift a black cloud from a room in a matter of minutes but not in a knee slapping, joke telling sort of way. It is quite subtle, very smart and sometimes misunderstood. Having a good sense of humor is often the one distinction I use to determine my community. This mode of social interaction is lost online. It seems when I type something that I think is funny it reads sarcastic and sometimes even rude. I realize that it is more the face to face delivery that makes it funny. Not everyone appreciates humor and I have found that humor online particularly when it is dry is often NOT appreciated. So checking my humor at the door (for now) I entered an online community on my best behavior.
Nearly all of us who have been on the internet have participated at one time or another with an “imagined community” (p140). I have for the most part been a lurker as Michael Hauben would describe in chapter 6 of Woods and Smith. Usually I join a group that is about something specific to my work as I often interact with and offer guidance via some mode of mediated communication with people around the country. In these situations I have always felt like I have something valuable to contribute to the group, I have many years of experience in my field and feel that I can often offer my opinion. But it is just that……an opinion and everyone has one. Many virtual communities are very tight closed circles of people who often are so likeminded they do not appreciate any outside perspective or opposing opinions. There is a social order that seems to be based on how long you have been a member of the group and that order it is not necessarily based upon the accuracy of the information and are at times highly critical of a “newbie” with an opinion. I sat back and watched this dynamic and tried to learn my “place” as set out specifically to avoid the type of community that was too closed.
So a couple weeks ago I was going through my mail and I received a postcard from a local company called “Klutter Kleaner”. The card was about helping you get your life organized, asking “aren’t you tired of being buried under a mound of paperwork”. My first thought was….were they looking through my windows? It probably sounds incredibly boring to many but this postcard inspired me to see if there was an online community that would do just what the postcard offered. One that shared tips and tricks to help a busy, self employed, full time student and full time mother actually get organized. No surprise, there are in fact many groups to this affect. I settled in on a community that had……..again what I deem necessary in life… humor. The tag asked “Do you suffer from CHAOS (can’t have anyone over syndrome)”. One of the discussions was how often our procrastination is fueled by our perfectionism, and goes on to talk about how our perfectionism piggy-backed with procrastination can put us in a coma. I thought this was a great opener as it talked about how many of us are in a “perfect” rut and that rut can be paralyzing therefore, we don’t get as much done as we could. This is an incredibly easy group to assimilate into as the whole idea behind it is how to improve yourself and your environment. It has a very high level of interactivity and is very well organized. It is funny….in a self deprecating sort of way and I can honestly say that this is the first internet community I have joined that I could see myself actively participating in. Don’t get me wrong I remain a skeptic and don’t see myself becoming a fully fledged “Netizen” but for now I am just a happy “Newbie” participating in a fun group of busy women trying their best to “have it all”.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Re-discovering a lost art
I can say without a doubt that my friend Daisy is a master with technology. If I ever have a question about anything regarding my computer……she can figure it out. So for my email “letter” I let my friend know how much I appreciate her advice and guidance. I let her know that without her skills and ability to diagnose my computer problems (sometimes at the most insane times of day or night) my goose would be cooked……so to speak. I also let her know how much I value our friendship, but she already knows this as we "talk" every day, in fact we are IM’ing as I write this Blog. Daisy is 10 years younger than I am and it is amazing how much more technology plays a part of her life. When I visit, her and her husband the evenings are spent “connected”. Daisy can IM 5 people at one time and keep the conversations straight, she reads her books on Kindle and has many friends that she has never actually met in person. Postman states “Technopoly is a state of culture. It is also a state of mind. “(page 71). I believe that technology is a natural progression as we humans continue to try to explain and rationalize the mysteries of the universe. It is our nature to explore and advance. I believe that Postman feels this is what will end us as a culture. He writes as though we should all be in fear of technology, (technophobes) as there is no progress, no benefit. There is a balance somewhere and often we have to go to extremes before we can find it. Postman promotes the extreme behavior that he also deplores in society. I believe that the answer lies somewhere in the middle.
This assignment was a wonderful exercise in balance. Letter writing is a lost art. About a year ago I was re-introduced to writing letters. When I first met Gloria Barr I was flying home from Baltimore. It was hot and muggy and we were stuck on the tarmac at BWI waiting for a thunderstorm to pass. Babies were screaming, the smell of jet fuel was nauseating and the pilots turned off the air. Needless to say it was the last place I ever imagined forming a friendship. When Gloria sat next to me, I was a little surprised. It was not a full flight and I couldn’t imagine why she wanted to sit next to the window, in my row when there were plenty of seats available. When I fly I am usually plugged in, (I-pod attached like a life line) especially in a situation like this. Though I don’t often show it on the outside I am a nervous flyer, and I don’t usually chat with people. I find solace in pumping music into my head, I know it’s not a particularly friendly way to be….but it is just how I fly (Postman would love that!). Well as I found out Gloria was also a nervous flyer, but unlike me she felt comfort in sitting next to people. She said I had a “friendly face” and squeezed into the seat beside me.
All things considered I had a wonderful flight home that trip, and learned a lot about the kindness of strangers. When the flight was over I wanted to make sure that Gloria and I exchanged email addresses as I wanted to keep in touch with her. I was stunned when she told me that she did not own a computer. She said that her son bought her one so that they could email each other, but she could never figure it out so she gave it to her granddaughter.
In the beginning I thought the idea of writing letters was tedious. Obviously I had done it many times before, but love the instant gratification of email and over the years no longer found a “need” to write. However, after the first few letters I began to really enjoy the process. There is an excitement to waiting for a letter in the mail. The anticipation of wondering when it will arrive, checking the mailbox and being greeted with more than just junk mail and bills broke the monotony of this daily task.
For this assignment I wrote Gloria and thanked her for re-introducing me to letter writing. I let her know that she has inspired me to sit down and pen a note to many of my other friends as well. I am really grateful to her as I now adore writing letters and my friends enjoy receiving them.
There is a beauty to letter writing, both in email and "snail" mail, a commitment that you enter with another person. It requires effort and is not a one way exchange. The act of letter writing must be reciprocated in order to continue, unlike the junk mail (whether in your mail box or inbox)….that just keeps coming regardless of the lack of effort or intent to reciprocate.
Postman states “But for the moment, computer technology functions more as a new mode of transportation than as a new means of substantive communication…..….they place an inordinate emphasis on the technical processes of communication and offer very little in the way of substance" (pg119). I will have to argue that while there is no doubt without balance technology could be dangerous, and all junkmail is certainly benefited by this "mode of transportation" lets face it, letter writing is old school. The computer is a fast, efficient and wonderful way for many people to keep in touch. Keeping their families and friends together when they are spread out all over the globe. How could that not be considered substantive.
This assignment was a wonderful exercise in balance. Letter writing is a lost art. About a year ago I was re-introduced to writing letters. When I first met Gloria Barr I was flying home from Baltimore. It was hot and muggy and we were stuck on the tarmac at BWI waiting for a thunderstorm to pass. Babies were screaming, the smell of jet fuel was nauseating and the pilots turned off the air. Needless to say it was the last place I ever imagined forming a friendship. When Gloria sat next to me, I was a little surprised. It was not a full flight and I couldn’t imagine why she wanted to sit next to the window, in my row when there were plenty of seats available. When I fly I am usually plugged in, (I-pod attached like a life line) especially in a situation like this. Though I don’t often show it on the outside I am a nervous flyer, and I don’t usually chat with people. I find solace in pumping music into my head, I know it’s not a particularly friendly way to be….but it is just how I fly (Postman would love that!). Well as I found out Gloria was also a nervous flyer, but unlike me she felt comfort in sitting next to people. She said I had a “friendly face” and squeezed into the seat beside me.
All things considered I had a wonderful flight home that trip, and learned a lot about the kindness of strangers. When the flight was over I wanted to make sure that Gloria and I exchanged email addresses as I wanted to keep in touch with her. I was stunned when she told me that she did not own a computer. She said that her son bought her one so that they could email each other, but she could never figure it out so she gave it to her granddaughter.
In the beginning I thought the idea of writing letters was tedious. Obviously I had done it many times before, but love the instant gratification of email and over the years no longer found a “need” to write. However, after the first few letters I began to really enjoy the process. There is an excitement to waiting for a letter in the mail. The anticipation of wondering when it will arrive, checking the mailbox and being greeted with more than just junk mail and bills broke the monotony of this daily task.
For this assignment I wrote Gloria and thanked her for re-introducing me to letter writing. I let her know that she has inspired me to sit down and pen a note to many of my other friends as well. I am really grateful to her as I now adore writing letters and my friends enjoy receiving them.
There is a beauty to letter writing, both in email and "snail" mail, a commitment that you enter with another person. It requires effort and is not a one way exchange. The act of letter writing must be reciprocated in order to continue, unlike the junk mail (whether in your mail box or inbox)….that just keeps coming regardless of the lack of effort or intent to reciprocate.
Postman states “But for the moment, computer technology functions more as a new mode of transportation than as a new means of substantive communication…..….they place an inordinate emphasis on the technical processes of communication and offer very little in the way of substance" (pg119). I will have to argue that while there is no doubt without balance technology could be dangerous, and all junkmail is certainly benefited by this "mode of transportation" lets face it, letter writing is old school. The computer is a fast, efficient and wonderful way for many people to keep in touch. Keeping their families and friends together when they are spread out all over the globe. How could that not be considered substantive.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
"Our identities are defined by the tensions between our cultures desire to have us conform to particular roles and our own desire to resist this pressure and establish a unique sense of self. "
Wood & Smith
The idea of our unique sense of self seems to be something humans have struggled with since the beginning of time. The need to break out of “the mold” or “chart our own course in life” is a norm in our human experience. The Internet gives someone an outlet for that self creation and exploration that we have never had before. While there has always been drama or acting for people to participate in for a creative expression of one’s self…the Internet opens doors that explore the depths of the human psyche in a very unique way. Wood & Smith discuss the Social Context Cues Theory which is defined by a perspective on human behavior suggesting that actions are governed by subtle indicators in the social environment. Many people will make friends in a specific type of environment as it often establishes a “like kind” mentality. In cyberspace (as defined by Howard Rheingold as “the conceptual space where words, human relationships, data, wealth and power are manifested by people using CMC technology”) people are free to be anyone they want to be with nothing but “their word” to base a relationship on. You can be ANYONE you choose to be. That is a very powerful, evocative concept and I wonder what percentage of people take advantage the ability to create a Pseudonymity. On some level don’t we all want some distorted view of our own reality? Don’t we all want to be smarter, richer, thinner, and more important than we might be IRL?
This May I joined Facebook because a friend of mine who lives in Pennsylvania (who I met on the online) was going to have her first baby in June. She said that once the baby was born it was where she would post all the photos so I had to join so I could be “in the know”. When I joined, I had no idea that every conversation was just out there hanging for all to read, every relationship wide open. At first I enjoyed the daily updates with her and her family. But then I started to receive emails from people that wanted to “friend” me. Some were people that I knew and saw on a regular basis. Others were family members that I don’t see often, while others were people that I had not seen in 20 years. So here I was, in the present, thinking about the past and looking towards the future….. constantly. This convergence of my “relationships” in one place with people who are related to me or know the “me” in the “now”, combined with friends I had when I was 16 years old was exhausting! I have very individual relationships with my friends, very real, very separate relationships with a lot of very different people (that probably would not all get along with each other). I like unique qualities in people, I like quirks. What I did not realize was how completely awkward this could be when you bring all of these people together, and then add your mother-in-law (yes my mother-in-law, who knew she had a Facebook page and how exactly are you supposed to “not friend” your mother-in-law). I have learned that everyone has a slightly different version of me. The person I was 20 years ago was just a premise of the person I am today and the relationship I have with my Mother-in-law is most certainly different than with my girlfriends I have martinis with. So how is it possible to actually merge all of these “personalities” in one cyber place. I truly appreciate the unique qualities in my diverse friends and I appreciate that I am a slightly different version of myself when I am with each of them. I don’t feel like I am ever not my true self when I am with different friends, yet I realize I might share different aspects of myself depending upon who I am with. But on Facebook, I can’t do that because it is impossible to juggle so many different unique relationships, therefore I am a homogenized version of myself……and really quite boring!
Wood & Smith
The idea of our unique sense of self seems to be something humans have struggled with since the beginning of time. The need to break out of “the mold” or “chart our own course in life” is a norm in our human experience. The Internet gives someone an outlet for that self creation and exploration that we have never had before. While there has always been drama or acting for people to participate in for a creative expression of one’s self…the Internet opens doors that explore the depths of the human psyche in a very unique way. Wood & Smith discuss the Social Context Cues Theory which is defined by a perspective on human behavior suggesting that actions are governed by subtle indicators in the social environment. Many people will make friends in a specific type of environment as it often establishes a “like kind” mentality. In cyberspace (as defined by Howard Rheingold as “the conceptual space where words, human relationships, data, wealth and power are manifested by people using CMC technology”) people are free to be anyone they want to be with nothing but “their word” to base a relationship on. You can be ANYONE you choose to be. That is a very powerful, evocative concept and I wonder what percentage of people take advantage the ability to create a Pseudonymity. On some level don’t we all want some distorted view of our own reality? Don’t we all want to be smarter, richer, thinner, and more important than we might be IRL?
This May I joined Facebook because a friend of mine who lives in Pennsylvania (who I met on the online) was going to have her first baby in June. She said that once the baby was born it was where she would post all the photos so I had to join so I could be “in the know”. When I joined, I had no idea that every conversation was just out there hanging for all to read, every relationship wide open. At first I enjoyed the daily updates with her and her family. But then I started to receive emails from people that wanted to “friend” me. Some were people that I knew and saw on a regular basis. Others were family members that I don’t see often, while others were people that I had not seen in 20 years. So here I was, in the present, thinking about the past and looking towards the future….. constantly. This convergence of my “relationships” in one place with people who are related to me or know the “me” in the “now”, combined with friends I had when I was 16 years old was exhausting! I have very individual relationships with my friends, very real, very separate relationships with a lot of very different people (that probably would not all get along with each other). I like unique qualities in people, I like quirks. What I did not realize was how completely awkward this could be when you bring all of these people together, and then add your mother-in-law (yes my mother-in-law, who knew she had a Facebook page and how exactly are you supposed to “not friend” your mother-in-law). I have learned that everyone has a slightly different version of me. The person I was 20 years ago was just a premise of the person I am today and the relationship I have with my Mother-in-law is most certainly different than with my girlfriends I have martinis with. So how is it possible to actually merge all of these “personalities” in one cyber place. I truly appreciate the unique qualities in my diverse friends and I appreciate that I am a slightly different version of myself when I am with each of them. I don’t feel like I am ever not my true self when I am with different friends, yet I realize I might share different aspects of myself depending upon who I am with. But on Facebook, I can’t do that because it is impossible to juggle so many different unique relationships, therefore I am a homogenized version of myself……and really quite boring!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
More human....than the human
Are we there yet? I mean really, what can’t we do at the click of a button. I can plan a trip, order food, make reservations, talk to my friends, meet new friends or see the world and never leave the comfort of my home. I remember as a kid “people” would talk about a world where everything would be run by computers. The picture that was painted was always quite grim as the world we know would be controlled, every move we made watched and independent thought squelched. Are we there yet? Well technology rules our lives there is no denying that and while for many this creates unrest and lack of control……for others freedom. Freedom from the harsh reality that many people face, whether through social stigmas, or stereotypes, freedom from boredom and loneliness, or perhaps freedom for those that are so incredibly popular they can’t keep up with all their friends through traditional means.
Hollywood has always done a great job at trying to scare us into changing our ways, serving us warnings on a big silver screened platter. The dichotomy here is that the very industry that warns us, also fuels our insatiable need for more. While the movie WALL-E is charming it falls in the genre of classic Hollywood “You can do it, if you just get out of your lazy boy” classics. Don’t get me wrong I did enjoy the movie. I was particularly interested in the “love affair” between two objects that could elicit tremendous emotion without any dialog. It was also fascinating how you could fall in love with machines that were more human than the human. The actual humans were lumps of flesh lacking all synchronous communication relying completely on machines for every human need…….Technopolists to the extreme!
We have been warned…….again….. about where our future lies if we don’t wake up and change our ways. Like we have many times before ………..and let’s face it comparatively life is good. I mean there are certainly horrible things going on all around us it could always be worse right? We could be living like the poor folks in Soylent Green or even the Matrix for heaven’s sake. So while many of these movies are designed to show us where we are headed I think they also serve to remind us of where we are. As for me, I am going to order up some take-out download a movie while I IM with my hubby who is in the room next door playing online poker……Life is good.......right?
Hollywood has always done a great job at trying to scare us into changing our ways, serving us warnings on a big silver screened platter. The dichotomy here is that the very industry that warns us, also fuels our insatiable need for more. While the movie WALL-E is charming it falls in the genre of classic Hollywood “You can do it, if you just get out of your lazy boy” classics. Don’t get me wrong I did enjoy the movie. I was particularly interested in the “love affair” between two objects that could elicit tremendous emotion without any dialog. It was also fascinating how you could fall in love with machines that were more human than the human. The actual humans were lumps of flesh lacking all synchronous communication relying completely on machines for every human need…….Technopolists to the extreme!
We have been warned…….again….. about where our future lies if we don’t wake up and change our ways. Like we have many times before ………..and let’s face it comparatively life is good. I mean there are certainly horrible things going on all around us it could always be worse right? We could be living like the poor folks in Soylent Green or even the Matrix for heaven’s sake. So while many of these movies are designed to show us where we are headed I think they also serve to remind us of where we are. As for me, I am going to order up some take-out download a movie while I IM with my hubby who is in the room next door playing online poker……Life is good.......right?
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